It’s 2am 3am. Why am I up, and more importantly: why am I blogging at this hour? Insomnia sucks, and I want to kick it in the teeth.
My heart just feels so heavy lately, maybe that’s why I can’t sleep. I have so much to say, so many feelings and emotions I want to get out, yet don’t know how. I’d like to talk about how my Goddaughters have so much of my heart and make me swell with love, but I feel like I talk about them all the time, and that gets old. I’d like to talk about the 3 possible teaching opportunities that may come my way for next year, but I don’t want to get my hopes up again.
My work schedule is changing next week. I have to go back to working nights. Well, until 9pm. I had no vote in the matter, no choice. And 9pm was the earliest ending schedule offered by the time I got to pick. It’s silly, but it hit me fast and hard and made me cry. I’ve been there long enough and have paid my dues working nights and weekends before, and now I have to do it again. I feel like I’m moving backwards, not forwards.
At the end of the day, this is the one place where I’m most comfortable.
Laura told me tonight that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. And I do see it, but it’s very faint. All I can do is keep walking towards it.
2 comments:
Maybe you should stop walking and get on the train ;-)
the light is always there. and shines brightest when we least expect it. i'm sorry you're in the waiting period, but i promise it will come.
promise.
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