blue

The past week and a half I've immersed myself in music. My band of choice lately has been Evanescence, which is noticeable from the previous couple of posts. No, they're not a Christian band, and sure they have their "bad" songs, but they are exceedingly talented. They range anywhere from gorgeous piano ballads to head-banging, rocking it out, hardcore metal tunes.

As with anything I am interested in, I did some research online to find out more about the lead singer, Amy Lee. She's absolutely gorgeous. She studied classical piano for 9 years, and you can tell. While I was reading about her, I noticed one thing stayed consistent in all her interviews and biographies; she's always known what she wanted to do with her life. She's always known she is a musician and songwriter at heart.

I've come to have an admiration for people like her.

Since high school, music has been my escape. I would lock myself in my room for hours upon hours and listen and sing and fall asleep to it. It was how I dealt with things, how I re-focused. It's crazy how just listening to someone sing and play their instrument of choice can be compelling enough to make someone want to go out and better their life. Perhaps that's the whole point of music in general. I believe so.

I feel like, at times, that I'm just floating through life day by day. Spiritually I know I am. But according to some people, I don't have a "real" major in school, and it won't help me when I graduate, thus my whole school career is a waste. This just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. It doesn't help that school is approaching the end and then I'll be thrown out in the real world. What if I'm not ready? What if I'm not prepared? What if, unlike this amazing woman I'm listening to, I don't know who I am at heart? Honestly I don't think I've ever known. And that scares the crap out of me.

Before I get bogged down with comments from friends, let me say that I am praying about everything, and I know for a fact that God won't put me somewhere that I'm not needed. He has His own plan, and will not let me down. It's just so hard at times to give it up to Him, when that's all that needs to be done.

I'm closing with links to two videos. Take the time and watch them. The first is an example of the exquisite piano work she does, it's a song she wrote for her now-husband, Josh, called "Good Enough". The second video is an example of some of their harder stuff (that I still love), and that song is called "Call Me When You're Sober".

Good Enough

Call Me When You're Sober